Celebrating Mother's Day

    Today is the day to celebrate me, mom.  Each of you give me those cute homemade (school made, really) cards with “coupons” promising to do dishes, rub my legs, and keep your room clean.  You wake me up way too early with coffee and most likely a donut, all of you full of excitement and Mother’s Day wishes.  But in reality today I want to celebrate you four.  I want to take the time to look at each of you, remember each of your faces as you cheerily rush to my bedside because it is you that makes this Mother’s Day happen.  Without you, there would be no hand drawn cards or ultra sweet coffee.  Mother’s Day is as much about thanking me as it is about thanking each of you.  This is for each of you, my memories, my thank you, my love and my wishes.

    Time has certainly flown by and continues to speed up as if that is possible.  It seems like yesterday that you, my dear Gabriel Matthew was born.  How you came into this world ready to take in all that you could, refusing to sleep from moment one.  I knew from the moment I saw you that this journey was going to tiring but oh so rewarding.  I have watched you as this chubby little toddler, clinging to me for fear of anything new to this confident, mature, artistic young man.  You are a visionary and a leader.  I am always in awe of your fearlessness to lead a group.  I can picture you trailblazing projects, companies, movements and all with a sketchbook and pencil in hand.  I can’t wait to see what adventures you embark upon in life.  

    Oh and then there is you, my headstrong Jacob Michael.  When I laid my eyes upon you, it was remarkable to feel that immense sense on unconditional love all over again.  You challenge me almost daily and yes I get frustrated.  I think it is only because I see so much of myself in you. From day one, I could see in your eyes  the desire for exploration.  Often times, we would find you stuck in places because you simply wanted to see if you could fit.  You picked up “treasures” off the ground whenever we went, still do and for this germaphobe mom, I have had to deal.  You are my scientist, my “always searching” for answers, but to questions that you pose.  From the age of 2, you would ask me about the existence of human beings, the “what ifs” and God questions.  Often times, I just stare at you in amazement and admiration for your inquisitive mind and persistence to find your way.  

    Elias Mark, my curly haired wild child!  You came hardwired to love!  You have the most sensitive heart.  You are always thinking of your family, friends, loved ones.  You want to make sure everyone is happy and your ways to do so are always so creative.  You have such a playful spirit, childhood is certainly epitomized with you.  Like your brothers, you are confident, but hesitant.  You have your own sense of style and stomp through life proud of your quirky clothing choices, long curly hair and off sense of humor.  In someways, you already know who you are at the age of 5 and boy am I jealous of that.  I simply cannot believe you will be in Kindergarten in a few months and I am scared for that journey to begin because I know all to well how time speeds up once the school years start.  Yet, I can picture you going to school, smile on your face, ready to learn.  You will crack all the jokes, give all the hugs and make so many friends.  

    Last but not least, my Asher Micah, our family’s youngest blessing.  You came into to this world fast, not wanting to wait another minute.  So small, so quiet, yet full of lessons for us all.  You have truly been the happiest baby and the strongest.  Everyday I wish to be as strong as you, to be able to persevere through lifes challenges with a happy heart.  Many nights I stay up looking at you, listening to you breathing, admiring how you keep going with a smile, always a smile.  And now as you are growing, it has been great to see all your hard work fostering your personality.  The look in your eyes when you get to play with your brothers or spend time with your dad and me, is priceless.  It’s complete joy but also the hint of mischief.  I cannot wait to see you crawling around or even walking to see what you get into.  You have been faced with challenges, but you have not let that stop you.  I worry about your future, but at the same time I do not.  You are determined, focused and loved.  With all that, you will be beyond successful. 

    For all you boys, I wish for you to be best friends always.  To remember that your brothers are your strongest support system and your greatest cheer squad.  I wish for each of you to follow your dreams fiercely and hope for me to have the strength and fearlessness to let that happen.  I wish for you to fail to only make you get back up and work harder.  I wish for you to find love in whatever way that looks for you.  I wish for you to find joy, happiness, fulfillment and passion.  I want you each to have a life that is void of regret.  I wish that I can be the mother that each of you needs to foster that growth because it is true that each of you needs different “mothering”.  Mostly, I thank you Gabriel, Jacob, Elias and Asher for giving me the life that is fulfilling, blessed and blissful, my life without regret because all my choices and dreaming led me to being a mom to each of you.